Why Britney Spears is just a wet fish...

I just flipped open TMZ - not because I was looking for my own name, but because I love trashy gossip - and it seems that Britney decided to give Lance Bass a 'lap dance' last night. In case you don't remember (and we all kind of accidentally-on-purpose forgot) him, he was the other one out of N*Sync that wasn't Justin Timberlake or the other three trainee shelf-stackers. But he and Britney are friends I guess, which makes this all the more confusing.

You see, first, there's the extremely liberal use of the term 'lap dance' - let's observe the video:




You call that a lap dance? You must think taking a shower is hardcore pornography if you call that a lap dance.

Next, we have the most worrying thing about the whole thing; once again Britney is barking up the wrong tree. Even if it had been a good lap dance, Brit, it would be pointless. Lance Bass is gay. Just saying.

Anyway, I suppose I shouldn't spend my entire blog commenting on celebrity gossip. That kind of thing upsets people and my agent tells me I can't afford to be doing that at this stage in my career. Whatever.

Dan has been insufferable today because Arsenal won last night. He always gets like this. When we're all old and married and stuff, I'll probably have to stop him watching it entirely. That or start trading him for Sara on football nights so I don't have to put up with him being over-excited. He's like a toddler on a sugar rush.

I got sent a script in the mail this morning. I have no idea how they got my address, but it wasn't very good. But hey, he was lucky I read it. For future reference, boys and girls, if you send me a script in the mail I usually burn it. Send it to my agent and, if it's worth reading, he can handle it.

Back in school now and it's all been a bit hectic since we came back. My class schedule is ridiculous and I really need to get used to Anna complaining before, during and after every class again. She always seems to really hate school, which is strange, because she's ridiculously smart and she'll probably going to end up being a doctor or something.

Dan and Drew had football practice tonight, too. They're back on the school team, tearing things up as always. Or so they tell me. I don't know.

I'll be out shopping with Sara this weekend, too. She's got her first weekend off of work for ages so we're going to have some us time. I would let you know where we're heading, but we know the papers will get hold of this and we don't need them following us around. I can't wait to hear all about her latest adventures in movieland though. It sounds like she's really enjoying herself at the moment.

Talking of acting, I found out what our school play is this year: Kiss Me, Kate. Excellent. I always wanted to play Lois Lane... although perhaps not the same way Dan wants me to.

Better run, gotta save some stories for the autobiography.

xoxo,
Sophie.